My week started off with exercise and got slowly more and more indulgent and a bit lazy (by my own choice). Tuesday was the last in game session for the society game and given the events of my last turn, I got the opportunity to try playing an arguably evil character. It was also fun to poke plot that I hadn't really been involved in before. Afterwards was the monthly goth/EDM night at a local club in Oxford. Many of us got dressed up and danced the night away. I was surprised by my own endurance, happy to have danced longer than I did. If anything, the heat was the biggest issue. I had a wonderful time and took particular joy in the smile on my boyfriend's face through the night.
The next couple days were lazy ones with not much more activity than watching shows on netflix and playing video games. No complaining here though. I have been relishing the opportunity to relax on this holiday. The end of my time at university was extremely stressful and catching up on much needed sleep. I'm being well taken care of here and I do my best to help out when I can.
Yesterday was the ball for Regent's Park college and along with Sara and some archery friends we went. I spent the day getting ready with two of my best friends and was grateful for the distraction as the looming date of my return to the US was weighing heavily on my mind. Unfortunately, I had some bad luck. My dress zipper died not once, not twice but three times and after bruising my thumb trying to fix it, I ultimately had to abandon it to wear one of my darling Sarah's spares. Fortunately, we had planned with enough time in advance that this upset did not make us late or even scrambling last minute. The ball itself was good fun. It was a bit cold and unfortunately it did rain, but the ball was designed with opportunities to avoid it. There was a hooka tent, burger stand, bouncy castle, live brass bands that did 70s, 80s and modern covers, casino games and a photobooth. The group of us took advantage of everything and I had a great time dancing and will cherish all the photos. It was a surprising evening and those of you who have read all of my posts or remember, I had a terrible time at St. Cats ball. This ball was much better and I am reminded, as always, people make my experiences worth while.
Now to the part of this report that called for the heavy discussion at the beginning and some of you were probably waiting for if you stalk my facebook page. On Thursday, I got a frantic message from my father to skype him. Now, I was suspicious enough as it was because that morning I got an email from AMCAS (the application service for medical school) asking me to fill out a criminal background check as is procedure for accepted applicants. It is in talking to my father that I find out that I have been offered a place at Indiana University School of Medicine (The Fort Wayne campus for now). This news is fantastic. It is the first guarantee about my potential future that I have gotten. The rush of agency it gave me was in many ways a relief and a joy. But as I've gotten older and as I've closer to being responsible for more aspects of my life, I've come to understand how decisions and news rarely are purely good or bad. The news hit me with as much joy as it did fear and sadness. Now I know that line just cost me a sigh and a frown from my mother and a knowing but sad frown from my dad, but there is a reason that I'm here in the UK and not in the US this summer. There is a reason that I applied for work here. There is a life that I would be happy to live if I could sustain it here. Making the decision to go to medical school, a career dream that I have and want to pursue, is putting that life on hold if not denying it entirely. I can't help but feel torn in two and while I know I have choices, the pragmatic part of me sees the number of realistic choices as one. I have only one potential opportunity for a job at the moment in Oxford and I'm not optimistic, but it presents the only potential for a pragmatic option that is different. I don't have it in me to say no to a guarantee and I'm trying to live with and fully understand the ramifications of that choice.
For now, I will enjoy this moment. I will be in Chicago next week. My family has decided to make a trip of it and I have no idea what we will be doing, but I'm sure it will be fun. I'll try to post again, but I foresee myself taking another break. This blog has become too much a chronicle of my life in Oxford and its difficult to use it for anything else. May there be a Next Time, but regardless, Adventures Await.
KH
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