Bullseye

So last week, I wrote a story about the sadness and depression I was feeling. I was very grateful for all the support I received and I want to say that when I wrote it I wasn't looking for sympathy or pity but merely wanted to express everything that I was feeling. That being said, thank you to all the people who love me. I know I am a very fortunate person to have so many wonderful people in my life.

This week has been much better. Archery has improved though I may have injured myself. My academic work has lightened considerably, and if anything I have spent most of my time on my own catching up on some relaxation and planning for the whirlwind of travel that I will embark on in less than two weeks.

Let's start with archery. Last Sunday I went out to practice with the experienced archers and when the experienced coach got a look at my form, she more accurately diagnosed what was wrong and the following Monday when my bow was adjusted and the changes I made in myself, I shot the best I had since I had begun shooting. That being said, sometime in the course of everything, I did injure one of my muscles in my shoulders and at strength training on Monday night, I could do a bench press using my left arm. That being said, the muscle is not an important part of my form, and so I can still shoot.  Also, at this point, it appears to have healed up. I have a match tomorrow in Loughborough and am looking forward to seeing another part of England and meet more people. I leave this picture here, but I feel that this image provides a good metaphor for my turn around this week.

Academically things have been rather easy. I had a minor tutorial, and unfortunately, my major tutor was ill, so my work got pushed back half a week. So what did I do with most of my time? Bake.

 At my first archery tournament, people made a lot of baked goods and shared them among the archers. One very common and simple baked good is a flapjack. Some of you may have seen my post on Facebook, but a flapjack is not a pancake as it is in the US. A flapjack is a gooey oat bar that is sweeter than an granola bar and can be flavoured with just about anything. So, I attempted two batches this week. It essentially involves caramelizing sugar and butter and then adding in the oats and baking it for about a half hour. I added apricots and cinnamon and nutmeg to mine. I will bring the latest back to the archery tournament tomorrow. I also practised making sweet potato tarts for the MCR (middle common room, the common room for graduate students) Thanksgiving. They turned out better than I expected. I am looking forward to making the next batch next Saturday. 

The only other thing of note for my week is the festival that is going on in Oxford right this very minute. Every year around the end of November, Oxford has a festival for the lighting of all the Christmas lights. Over the course of the weekend there are lots of musical acts and stands with food and crafts and mulled wine and ciders. The lights are bright and accenting every building and stretching across all the main roads. There is a very cheerful and Christmas feel all around the city. It isn't quite as big as a fair in the US at a major city, but there is certainly unique and quaint suits it very well. 

Not as long as in the past, but in the coming weeks I will be busy finalizing all the travel details and getting my final tutorials together. Until then, I have a 50th anniversary of Dr. Who to watch.

Adventures Await

KH

Novelty

Today, I would like to talk about the phenomenon of Novelty and also the emotional state I have been in for the last week and how this phenomenon links to these emotions.

Novelty is the interest and joy one finds in something new. There is an initial obsession that makes one want to find out all that it can and understand this new person or new thing and most importantly define it.

When I first arrived in England and more specifically Oxford, I was taken in by the novelty. I had never really moved and the cultural differences and aesthetic differences were jumping out at me everywhere I looked. I couldn't go into a grocery store with out immediately being confronted with new and different things. While some may find it overwhelming, I found the novelty exciting and I was genuinely happy to experience everything that Oxford had to offer. The one thing I didn't find novel, at least after the first day, were the people. Sure I found some of their accent quirks novel and maybe if there was a particular cultural phenomenon, that was novel too, but the people...well I always assumed that they were like any other person. A new student, all of whom were bright (I mean they made it to Oxford for heavensake), and at their core they were still people who loved and hated and cared and thought about things I wanted to know. I genuinely wanted to know everyone as people and get to know more about them, not because they were English, but because they were genuinely cool and interesting people.

But I wasn't the only one who found something or someone novel. Whether consciously or subconsciously, some of the people I met saw me as something novel. I became a novelty, and as a result, I got more attention than I was used to in the first couple of weeks. It brought about it, its own confidence that I was really pleased to have.

The thing about novelty is that before long it begins to fade. And that which was so unique and so interesting becomes common place. I was surprised to learn how quickly Oxford became common for me. How quickly I adapted to this new lifestyle. Thus my confidence was bound to take a hit, when the novelty of me faded...and I was no longer interesting to some of the people I met.

Before coming to Oxford, everyone who was studying abroad had to attend a mini-class in which the aspects of studying abroad were discussed in an effort to prepare those who were going for what was coming. I remember one of the talks specifically discussed the way in which one's mood would fluctuate through the trip. It was a sinusoidal graph with some troughs and peaks higher than others. I remember thinking, "why would I ever be sad?". I am an independent person and this is the experience of a life time. I have always adapted to new situations and new people. Before high school (year 10-13 for you Brits), I had spent no longer than 3 years at any school, meaning I had to meet and get along with a new group of people quite often. I wasn't one to really feel homesick and I was even prepared to deal with culture shock. So what reason would I have for being upset or frustrated?

Academically, everything has been going great. I've always been able to quickly adapt to my studies. There was hardly ever going to be an issue there. However, the other aspects of my life in the last week have been trying to say the least.

I find myself having to struggle against a form of alienation that I never expected to encounter. I was trying not to let it both me...about a week or two ago, but over time it began to really wear down on my nerves. I told you last week that I wrote an article for the William Jewell newspaper (http://www.thehilltopmonitor.com/en/32/4/698/Cardinal-Passport-Oxford-England-with-Kayla-Haffley-junior.htm). I was given the opportunity to write about any topic I would like. So I chose to talk about the one thing I never expected to experience while studying abroad, alienation.

I will let you read the article for yourself. It was therapeutic in a way to write it. That said, the effects persisted through this last week. I was building up stress (I'm pretty sure in my shoulders) and even when I tried to approach everything with optimism, I still found myself wanting to hibernate. To hide. To spend a little time away from everyone and everything and spend time for myself. The problem is, the world doesn't stop to wait.

As a result, I had an abysmal week at archery. I have injured myself again (Picture below) and the frustration of not doing well, only added to the emotional stress I was under. I tried to enjoy myself when I spent time with people...but I was definitely in a depressed state of mind. I didn't enjoy things as much as I had. Similarly, I was swept up by a certain loneliness. Unfortunately, I have always been someone who just wants another person to recognize that there is something wrong. To know that someone cares enough to pay attention. But this is unfair of me, as I don't make it obvious and tend to bottle it all up inside.

Also, the stress of planning a break for 2.5 people compounded it all. I couldn't even get excited about where I was going. I was only reminded of the added pressure to make the trip as inexpensive as possible.

So in conclusion, the first peak of the study abroad emotional graph is definitely Novelty, but this quickly fades both in yourself and in others. And thus the first trough begins.

I realize that this is a rant. I apologize. I know that I will reach an upswing eventually, but at this moment I am dealing with a trough. This opportunity is amazing, but it is also hard. I finally realize that now.

Adventures Await...as well as new highs and new lows. I'll get through it. It's a part of life.

KH

It's a Small World and My Very First Archery Competition!

Other than this past week being hell week (see last post for details), some pretty amazing and great things did happen. First, I found out that my best friend from 4th grade, who I hadn't seen in 10 years, is studying in the UK this year. Secondly, I had my very first archery competition (today). And additionally of note, I wrote a newspaper article and had some more tutorials.

So let's start with another endearing story that reminds me that this world is ever so small. When I was in fourth grade (That's 5th year for you Brits or 10-11 years of age), I met a girl named Naoko. She was Japanese and her father had been relocated to the US branch of his company 3 years prior. She spoke perfect English, was smart and we became fast friends. Actually with very few exceptions, Naoko was the closest friend I have ever had. We hung out at each other's houses and talked endlessly. When I found out at the end of that year that rather than staying for 7 years, as had been initially the plan, Naoko would be going back to Japan that summer, I was devastated. I still remember rushing to my room and bawling for hours.

For the next couple of years, we tried to keep in touch through email and letter, but those eventually died away as we became more busy and the nearly 12 hour time difference didn't help. Right before I entered college (university), I managed to find her on facebook and we remained facebook acquaintances talking every once in awhile. Well last Friday, I noticed that she was on-line. I realized that given I was in England and the time zone was closer to that of Japan, we might have a chance of chatting. I messaged her telling her about how I was abroad in England. Shortly after, to my surprise, she told me that she was also in the UK, studying at the University of Edinburgh. She was a mere 6 hours away. I haven't been this close to seeing her in 10 years.

My mind was blown and all those feelings of nostalgia rushed over me. We have tentatively made plans to see each other and I couldn't be more happy. Just a reminder that really, the world is such a small place.

On the other half of the coin, today was my very first archery competition. Over the course of the week, the gear for archery had come in. I now own a quiver (blue and awesome), a bow stand, a bow stringer, a chest guard and a fancy finger tab. It feels great to have all the equipment. Makes one feel like they are legitimately doing a sport. It certainly made getting up for a 6:30 am practice Friday morning bearable.

An archery competition of the sort we were doing put two target faces on bosses 20 meters (?) away. Each face has 10 rings of colors starting with yellow in the middle two, red in the next two, blue, black, and white. Each set of two represents two numbers, 10-9, 8-7, 6-5...ect. There are two people assigned to each face and you take turns shooting. You have 2 minutes to shoot 3 arrows. Once both people have shot, the arrows are scored. If an arrow touches the line of the next closest ring, then it is scored by the closer ring. So an arrow on the line between the 5-6 rings would be scored a 6. You repeat this 20 times. for a total of 60 arrows and a potential total of 600 points.

After the first two rounds got the nerves out, I shot pretty well. I was consistently getting at least one yellow (9 or 10) and then plenty of (5-8s). I was really proud of this and felt like I had found my form. Then everything started to go frustratingly wrong. My sight fell down and my next two arrows hit the very top of the target. From then on I progressively got misses and scores around (3-6). By the end I was just beginning to get my groove back.

My total was 296, which is a little less than half the total points. It isn't bad for someone who has only been shooting for 3 weeks and it was the 5th highest out of 10 of the novices on our team and the highest of all the girls. The score was also a 20 point improvement on the game I shot two days before. That being said, the next 5 scores were all within 11 of me. It was tough to remain focused and positive, especially when I was continually frustrated in the later leg of the competition. I was also told that when I shoot the arrow, I have a habit of clenching my teeth in a snarl, which my fellow team-mate took a lot of amusement out of.

All things considered, it wasn't a bad tournament and I can tell that I am making some great friendships among the novice squad and experienced squad a like. It is fun and I look forward to doing better in the future! Maybe one of these days I will get a medal. If anything, I really love the sport and it feels great to be back in competition!

As for the minor things I mentioned above, I was asked by one of my sisters back at Jewell to write an article for a study abroad column in the Jewell newspaper. If it is on-line, I will like a copy to the blog when it is published. If it isn't, I will have to get a Jewell student to save me one of the issues and I will post the article directly to the blog. I wrote an article about the role alienation has had in my study abroad experience. It wasn't meant to be sad, but I think it is a topic which is rarely discussed when it comes to the study abroad experience and it has really opened my eyes to some of the more valuable aspects of this experience. Secondly, I had a few more tutorials and they went fine. I managed to successfully write 3 papers and this was helped considerably by one of my essays being pushed back an additional 3 days. The next couple weeks shouldn't be too busy.

Sorry to bog you down with so many details. A lot has happened this week. In a few days, I think I will talk about my future travel plans and some of the more traditional British culture I have encountered recently. Until then:

Adventures Await!

KH

Tutorials and London

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know. It has been awhile since I posted and if I'm being honest, Wednesday, I would have had nothing to talk about. Now life has picked up dramatically. I have plenty to talk about. The important things of note in the last week: I had my first tutorial! I went on a wonderful trip to London! I am so overwhelmed I could cry.

Let's start with the happy bit first then?

Tutorial was great. My first neuroscience tutorial got moved to Thursday morning (which I'm surprisingly glad about) and it went well. The structure of the tutorial was kind of like a seminar or lecture. We went through a power point together and made sure that I had all the background information ready. She did promise that things would pick up after we had established a base. The less fun part of this was the assignment of a paper 2000 words due by sunday evening, before our next tutorial on Monday. Unfortunately, since we started so late in the term, we are having to play a bit of catch up. This would normally be fine, but well, I will get to that a bit later.

Later that day I also had my first (make-up) Aesthetic tutorial. I learned that I wrote too long of papers and should focus my energies on what I could actually defend. We then had a really interesting discussion on Plato and the way he viewed poetry in the Republic. I have spent a long time studying and discussing the Republic, but this was a completely new take and new perspective that I had not been exposed to. I feel as though it went well. I defended myself, asked questions and was able to produce information as needed. My tutor was very nice, and I look forward to having a few more tutorials with her. Given that this was a make up, my next tutorial is this coming Thursday. The only reason I'm bringing this up now is that it will be important later.

Now LONDON!

London was a really fun trip. We got on the bus from Oxford around 1:35 pm and arrived in London around 3:45. No, London isn't really 2 hours from Oxford, but there are a lot of stops on the way. The first thing Sara and I did when we got there was enter a tube station. Now, I would say I'm fairly well travelled for my age, but I haven't really ever been to a city with any kind of subway system. I was a little daunted by the idea of using the tube system. I got myself an Oyster card which is a neat little card which gives one a discount on all travel, makes sure you don't spend more than the cost of a day pass, and in general makes it easier to traverse the underground by topping it up with a prepaid amount and then waving it over the checkpoints in which it automatically lets you in and takes off the charge. The map of the tube stations isn't that difficult to understand, as long as you actually look at the proper map. All of London's travel is linked and at all the tube stations they have a map of the day and night bus routes as well as the tube routes. It would also have been helpful to have a "you are here" marker. We eventually found the Victoria station marker on the map and figured out how to coordinate our way to where we were meeting our friend Heather (who lives in London). I was a bit proud at our success.

The London underground is a bit of a different world. You have to go so deep underground and you have no sense of where you are in relation to the surface. It feels entirely separate from the rest of the city. I completely understand why Neil Gaiman and many other authors have often attributed a supernatural quality to it. That being said, make sure you mind the gap.

We spent the night in and didn't go out on Friday. Heather had a mini-Halloween party and we went out to Indian food for dinner. English people make their Tikka Masala so sweet. It was really nice to catch up with old friends and meet some new ones. Heather lives quite close to Tower bridge and the Tower, so this became our first stop for the next day. Now I could talk about all the stuff I did, but I would prefer to show. So here are quite a few pictures with mini explanations.

Tower Bridge

A small portion of the Waterfront view of London with the Gherkin (cucumber shaped building) and the Tower of London pictured on the far right.

The Tower of London

A beautiful building we came across in our search for Shakespeare's Globe

Globe Theatre

Millennium Bridge...you know...the one that got blown up in Harry Potter 7 part 1

Big Ben!

The London Eye

The Beautiful Westminster Abbey

Even in England they have a statue of Good old Honest Abe

And to top it all off:

Me at a Red phone booth outside of Big Ben

I could bore you with all the details, but I think it is important for people to visit places like this on your own and take your own impressions. It was an exciting trip and a bit surreal given that this city is only 2 hours away by bus. The city was something I had only known from TV and books and now it is actually real to me. Safe to say, Sara and I were really tired after all this walking around. We had a relaxing evening in and left promptly the next morning.

Now we can get to the not so fun bit.
Remember, I mentioned that I had that paper due Monday. Well I spent Friday and Saturday in London and half of my Sunday was travelling back to Oxford. Safe to say, I rushed to get that essay completed and had to work some of the time while I was in London to do the research and reading required to complete the essay. This resulted in a less than proof read essay but I did get it done. I'm not a procrastinator. If you asked anyone who knew me, they would probably say they were envious of my time management skills. I have a tendency to finish things days ahead of their due dates, and I like it that way. It stresses me out to have to wait until the last minute to finish things. I wish I could say this is the last time I have to do this, but this coming week is making that look impossible.

I have the paper due Wednesday for my Thursday tutorial (Aestetics), which thankfully is considerably shorter than my last one. But I spent the weekend working on the paper due Sunday, so I still have lots of reading to do to prepare for that essay. I was assigned another essay of similar length today for my tutorial Friday on the subject which is due Thursday. I still have yet to get the reading for that. This would all be fine, but this Friday I have a third essay of moderate length for my one shot tutorial on Ion channelopathies due Friday. Thankfully, I have had that prompt for a bit and have done all the research and notes, so I just need to type it all up. So where does that leave me, a week full of extracurriculars that I have previous obligations to and three essays to write. Two of which, I still have plenty of reading to do. Fortunately, after this week the work should calm down (so maybe don't expect another post until this weekend). I am merely playing catch up for the situation that I had no control over. I try to take some deep breathes. I can do this.

So a busy last half of the week to say the least. I know everything will calm down again and I will return to the natural rhythm of things.

Adventures Await

KH